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Afraid to fail

February 5, 2010

So I have now gotten TEFL certification.  The regular old TEFL certification, did the Business English as well, and the Young Learners.  I have spoken to some people and all I have to do now is get out there and start trying to find some jobs.  But I think that I have become almost too, well, French.  Afraid of a refusal.  I mean I know that there will be some, and I know that it is just part of the game, but I am scared!

Every time I talk to a French person about quitting my job and teaching they are full of comments such as “Oh be careful!  You have a nice job at the bank!”, or “And what if it doesn’t work?”, or “I would never do something like that!” or “Wow, that is risky!”…  And it makes me kind of second guess my choices and ideas.  (Although I guess the people that make those comments are the older generations.  People our age or more likely to encourage me or at least have more positive comments!)  I feel that the French are more then cautious when it comes to jobs and employment.  When someone quits their job it is a huge deal.  My in-laws have friends that worked for the same company.  He got fired, and she decided to quit because of how they were treated.  They went and bought a real estate agency and are now working selling homes.  The way my in-laws talk about it is like they quit their jobs to pick trash off the moon or something equally crazy…  I understand that people have a hard time finding jobs out here, and when you do finally land the CDI people don’t want to let it go for something “risky”.  I didn’t really have a hard time finding my job out here.  I may never find a job with as many ‘perks’, but I do feel like my previous job kind of used me.  And the perks are great, but if you have to work long hours and for not that great of a pay for the perks, dosen’t it seem like the real advantage would be to have a slower life on a daily basis?  The women that worked the same sort of hours as me (but for more pay of course) all had cleaning ladies, a nounou and a babysitter for after the nounou…  With what I was paid, I couldn’t afford that!

I hope that I am making the right choices.  Regular jobs can be found if this doesn’t work out, right?

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